Psalm 19:12 Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.

Years ago a sister in the Lord and I had a difference of opinion about the trials of another. She was very passion in her love for this man, she empathized with him over the agonizing decision that this man had made.

The specifics of the man’s decision are common today. They were not so common in those days. I will not go into specifics as that would be taking up an agenda, which is not mine to do. The issue at hand is two loving people that know the Lord and are passionate about coming to know His will in a matter.

We disagreed and neither of us were willing to relinquish our positions. The discussion came to an end when I said to her, “God doesn’t make mistakes.”

As she stomped of bitterly I bowed my head in prayer. “Lord if I be wrong in this matter, show me.”

Suddenly I felt her loving arms around my neck and tears running down her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

So often in these circumstances the temptation is to ask the Lord to “fix” those who oppose us. I am firmly convinced that we need to check ourselves before we even consider God’s intervention in relationship. This wasn’t about a third party sin, it was about maintaining the bond of peace between two people who love the Lord.

We were never going to resolve a third party issue between the two of us. It is pride that holds onto an opinion as if it is going to fix a problem. Opinions are just individual viewpoints into a situation outside of our control. Those things vary within fellowship based on personal experience which can be positive or negative.

When we allow opinions to break fellowship, we are both wrong.

Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

The natural instinct when offended is to put up walls. It is an emotional defense system. As to the offense I cannot speak. There are too many scenarios to address. The source of an offense is often the same.

We all strive to achieve objectives. It does not matter what that object is in live, it is enough that you placed importance and effort towards that goal. Things are obstacle that can be overcome or avoided but people have a will and force of their own. When we perceive a person as an obstacle towards our goal, it becomes a contest of wills. Contentions arise.

Those on the outside of these emotional offenses see right thru the contentions just as one can see thru the bars of a castle. What is not seen by the offended in these cases is that he has created a prison in which he is the only prisoner.

Matthew 18:15-16 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

Jesus told us not to let these things fester and to do everything you can to resolve the issue.  

Now comes the hard part. Which of the two brothers is the offender?

It is important that you choose witnesses that have no agenda in the contention. Do not ask people to take sides. Only an impartial judge can be fair to both parties and speak the truth.