1 Corinthians 14:35 English Standard Version (ESV) If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

Today’s society will question the validity of a woman remaining silent in church. If a woman’s silence is the point of discussion, then the real shame is being overlooked. It is not the woman that is to be shamed, it is her husband.

The husband that leads his family in every aspect physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually will find a wife that is supportive and considerate. She will feel comfortable to ask her husband difficult questions because he has demonstrated capability and worthiness of trust.

If we are honest with ourselves a troubled home is one where the husband and father has not fulfilled his duties. Absentee husbands cause the woman undue stress to perform parenting tasks alone. Everyone needs a helpmate.

Genesis 2:18 English Standard Version (ESV) Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for^[a] him.”

Footnotes: a Or corresponding to;

The footnote is important because it goes beyond a fit helper, it indicates co-responsibility.  If we do not live up to our responsibilities, we let our partners down. Putting gender roles aside for a minute it is the responsibility of a couple to discover and develop their own gifts. A helpmate will encourage and cooperate in this endeavor. A gifted and dedicated partner makes life easier for both.

Over the years I have learned that a man who takes care of all his responsibilities will discover a supportive wife, one that does not work at odds with his efforts. If he is following God’s plan for his life, he will discover that his wife will be his greatest supporter and add unlimited value to their partnership.

Don’t and the partners will be at odds with each other and God’s plan.

James 4:1 English Standard Version (ESV) What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

I see things in black and white, right and wrong. Knowing what is right does not always lead me to do what is right. I like to argue and that is wrong. Sometimes when I know I am right I can be blunt and a little insensitive and that is wrong. This is my known weakness and I must guard against it.

We study and meditate on God’s word and we are asked to relate to one another in our understanding of God’s Word. Clarity is often found in sharing theology. The problem is that we do not all see things exactly the same. Some of us have personal perspectives based on being chastened by our Lord. Some of us rely on our reasoning skills. Some of us are proud of our intellect.

When our opinions are passionate how do we react to opposing thoughts?

One answer can be found in the subject matter itself. Is loss of salvation an issue? Does the argument being presented place anyone’s salvation at risk? If so, then we better agree and get right with what God’s Word says. God’s Word is final and nothing else matters.

We will find ourselves comfortable with how we believe and if we see something else that comfort zone is disturbed. Is it wrong for us to feel uncomfortable? It depends on the issue. One such incident occurred in a church I once attended. A young girl got up and began to dance in the aisles and swayed with unfettered enthusiasm. This made some of the older women in the congregation uncomfortable. Her actions were brought before the elders.

When questioned the young girl quoted 2 Samuel 6:14 English Standard Version (ESV) “And David danced before the Lord with all his might. And David was wearing a linen ephod.” She asked, “Was David wrong just because his wife didn’t like it?”