Isaiah 40:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

I was nineteen years old when I entered the Vietnam War. I knew the crippling effect of fear. I knew how you are more likely to make mistakes and possibly do something stupid when you are afraid. I learned to live with fear. I was wrong.

I have been fearful of my tax returns this year. I had this opinion that I was going to cough up some serious money come tax time. I thought that this was my problem, I thought it only affected me. I was wrong.

My wife, with love and grace, pointed out to me that my fears tainted every part of my life. It caused me to be overly cautious, protective, defensive, and clouded my judgments. It isn’t that I hurt anyone because of my doubts and fears, it is that I could have done more and been better in all the things I do.

Perhaps worst of all, the time spent worrying could have been better spent on positive activities. I could have served the Kingdom better, I could have been better to you. If I had believed Isaiah 40:10 I know that God could have done more. The right hand is the hand of power. The left hand is the hand of mercy and grace. I caused Him to hold me in the left hand because of my fear. I was wrong.

Psalm 139:23,24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

You don’t have to be wicked to be wrong.

Hebrews 12:1b the sin which doth so easily beset us

Does the ease of sin upset you? Does it seem unavoidable? Suddenly sin happens, didn’t plan it, didn’t want it, bam, there it is and now I have to deal with it.

I cannot speak for others, I can only speak for myself. I have had many conversations with Christians who tell me, “That’s not a sin.” Really, then why is my conscience being pricked? Because that is God speaking to me. For me and again I say “for me” if I continue to allow my conscience to be continually pricked, it will form scar tissue on my heart and lead to hardening.

There is a difference between picking up a sin and having it cast upon you. One is a bad choice, the other circumstances. Some only want to deal with the bad choice and ignore the sin of circumstance. I say an accumulation of snow happens one flake at a time. Before you know it, you are covered in it. So I choose to deal with both. I, me, my choice. I don’t get to make choices for you.

Acts 28:3,5 And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat, and fastened on his hand….And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm.

I recognize the spiritual implication here. We get snake bit. Shake it off. I’m good with that. What I recognize in myself is that I haven’t come to a point of spiritual growth to which I feel no harm. I want to get there, but I would be liar if I were to claim that to be true.

Faith does not name it and claim it. Faith responds to truth and moves on, knowing the goal is ahead. Claiming perfection does not make me perfect. I want to be holy because God is Holy. I am not there yet.

Hebrews 12:1c let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Carrying sin in a race just slows you down.