James 5:16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

At one time I was a member of a church that practiced open confession before the body. Men would get up before the congregation and confess things so private and embarrassing that their wives were shamed and humiliated. I believe in confession but what good does it do if it hurts another? I cannot believe that is what the Lord intended. That which is meant for healing should not wound.

The other extreme is failing to build relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ to the point where you can trust at least one person to hear your confessions. Even if we see the need for confession, do you think that it is the responsibility of the pastor to hear all our confessions? If the pastor is given the task of hearing all our confessions, then he will be so busy doing that, he won’t have time for his other duties.

I have three people that I trust enough to hear my confessions. That trust was built in relationship. They have demonstrated sincere love towards me. Demonstration of love is something that takes time. Do expect people to trust you just because you say “I love you with the love of the Lord.” It doesn’t work that way. You have to make time for each other and you have to show yourself to be faithful and consistent. That means sacrificing your own self-interests for the sake of relationship.

You accountability partners out there, let me say this, “one to another”. That is a two way street. If I trust you enough to be straight with you, you need to reciprocate and open up to me also. None of us are so perfect that we cannot use the kelp of a trusted friend. It is for the healing of the body.