Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

The natural instinct when offended is to put up walls. It is an emotional defense system. As to the offense I cannot speak. There are too many scenarios to address. The source of an offense is often the same.

We all strive to achieve objectives. It does not matter what that object is in live, it is enough that you placed importance and effort towards that goal. Things are obstacle that can be overcome or avoided but people have a will and force of their own. When we perceive a person as an obstacle towards our goal, it becomes a contest of wills. Contentions arise.

Those on the outside of these emotional offenses see right thru the contentions just as one can see thru the bars of a castle. What is not seen by the offended in these cases is that he has created a prison in which he is the only prisoner.

Matthew 18:15-16 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

Jesus told us not to let these things fester and to do everything you can to resolve the issue.  

Now comes the hard part. Which of the two brothers is the offender?

It is important that you choose witnesses that have no agenda in the contention. Do not ask people to take sides. Only an impartial judge can be fair to both parties and speak the truth.

Matthew 21:28-31a But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father?

Yesterday as I left off with the warning that you will be tested, it occurred to me that one could think that God’s testing of your work would come at the end of days. I would like to focus on how God tests us, and see the distinction between test and tempt.

Both of these sons were asked to go and work in the Father’s vineyard. The one that said no at first I can see as an example of myself in ministry. The flesh will quite often resist obeying God. It is an immature whining. “Do I have too?” Very often a real move of God is met with a resistance in the flesh.

This testing is one of obedience of faith. Satan has no wish for you to obey God because that never ends well for him. How long this reluctance lasts in this son is dependent upon the son’s willingness to ignore his own feelings on a matter and turn to do that which is asked of him. It is a test of character.

What of the son that said yes? I believe he went out from the presence of the father because I did not hear, “Why are you just standing there?” Where did he go? Is not the whole world our Father’s vineyard? He was willing and went but once in the vineyard what did he do? Not the will of the father. So what did that son do?

The second son did what satisfied him, what he was willing to do in his own sight. Just because you are in the Father’s vineyard and doing what is easy and pleasing in your opinion does not mean you are doing the will of the Father.