Numbers 30”2 If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

I find myself in a position to talk about myself. This is my heart and I cannot say how one should or should not deal with this subject. Grace be unto anyone who can relate to my words, my heart and this issue.

I am the Lord’s, I belong to Him. I vowed a vow in my heart to the Lord which He did not ask of me, nor can I say that He encouraged. The vow was of my own making and the Lord is not bound in it. It is of my own making.

I will not blame the enemy of my soul for tempting me to break the vow. I have not broken the vow, but my own words haunt me. This is of my own doing, I have no one to accuse for the thoughts and feeling of my mind and soul.

Circumstance come about where I am reminded of my vow. The Holy Spirit works in my conscience to remind me of my vow. I thank God for His Spirit and those not so gentle reminders, but the vow is mine to own and no one else’s responsibility. Grace and forgiveness are the Lord’s but I cannot see myself breaking my vow with the intention of availing myself of those heavenly gifts. I cannot see myself.

This isn’t about how God sees me, it is about how I see myself. I will not speak to the actions or results of another man’s vow. Those vows do not belong to me. Considering all that I have been through because I made that vow, would I have said it, if I had known these results. Yes.

But I weigh carefully the issues of vows more closely, more thoroughly and with much more respect now. I will not consider any new vow without examining it carefully.

Ecclesiastes 12:11 The words of the wise are as goads, and as nails fastened by the masters of assemblies, which are given from one shepherd.

1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Can I possess nice things and still love God? Sure I can, but if you think this is the point of the verse, you have missed the mark. This isn’t about how much I love God. It is about the Father’s love, not ours. We judge ourselves by a measure of love given. Am I good enough? Have I given enough? Do I measure up?

What is the first fruit of the spirit? According to Galatians 5:22 where they are listed, it is love. We know that the spirit is given to all who accept the free will offering of Jesus Christ and believe on him by faith. That spirit is the third person of the godhead. He is the one who produces fruit. We are but the branches which exhibit the fruit. In us is the fruit shown.

Since He is God and His nature is God, then the fruit of the spirit which is love is God’s love. The vine, Christ, is the source of the spirit and that spirit must flow through the branches to produce fruit. If we allow love of the world, which is not God, to flow in us, how much have we cut off the flow of the spirit?

Romans 8:5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

Not all the fruits of the spirit are produced at one time. Our concerns about who we are in Christ might have something to do with the fact that the last fruit developed is self-control.