Genesis 3:9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”

In the beginning God came looking for man.

Adam had eaten of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Adam’s eyes were opened to original sin, disobedience. Adam tried to hide from God. While Adam felt shame God gave Adam a covering for his shame but did not offer him forgiveness. Adam was cast out of the garden before he could partake of the tree of life.

The time for the tree of life to be made available to mankind to find forgiveness did not come until Jesus died on the cross as atonement for all of mankind’s sins.

God never stopped looking for man.

Man stopped looking for God.

It did not occur to me that accepting this gracious free gift of salvation was my opportunity to forgive myself for the sins I had committed. That changed over time. Perhaps it changed when I realized that God was seeking me every day and I was hiding like Adam did because I was still ashamed, naked and afraid.

God remained faithful. His steadfast love won me over and if I didn’t find it in myself to forgive myself, then I was never going to enjoy the fullness of this relationship that was available to me.

We cannot hide from God so stop trying.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 1:4

even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love

I blame myself, I did it and there is nothing I can do to undo any of it.

Philippians 3:9

and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith

How can I be found in HIm who is without sin, who has been perfectly faithful?

Philippians 3:8

Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

How can I lose the memories of my past?

Romans 3:22 the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction:

Is it as simple as believing God no longer holds my past against me?

Isaiah 43:25 “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”

So God does not remember my sins for my sake, but rather for His own sake.

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

This isn’t about what I have done but rather what Christ has done for my sake.

I should forgive myself for His sake, not my own.