John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

This morning I went to Exodus 3 to visit Moses as God revealed Himself. What I was searching for were words that might express how God revealed Himself to me near death. I found very little to compare because Moses lived in a different time and God’s will for that moment was different. But I did find one note that rang true, “I AM THAT I AM.”

I AM means exist, repeated twice with purpose in those moments with Moses, but for me once was enough. God revealed to me that He exists. But now I am stuck with this experience without any concrete way of proving it to anyone besides myself.

Words fail to describe the indescribable. I cannot even tell you how I felt. In His presence every part of what makes me human was stripped away. All there was in that moment, if you could even call it a moment because time also was stripped away, was His presence. There was nothing left of me to feel anything, think anything, express anything, to the point that being in His presence was everything.

I had no questions. I needed no answers. There was no physical exchange between us. I had nothing to offer, not even thought. No pain, no suffering, being me without a past, not even concerning myself with a future. I saw nothing but He was there. I felt nothing of my old self, but I was there. He was indescribable.

Then Jesus said, “I want you to live.”

How did I know it was Jesus speaking in pure spirit, into a part of me I could not describe? I do not know, but I knew in the same way I did not have any questions to ask of Him. This unquestioned knowing that was not based on knowledge but rather presence. No great mission calling, no direction, and no plans, just live, as if living would be enough.

It is in the living that we need words.

Luke 18:13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.

Jesus said this man went home justified. This man was honest with himself and earnest with God. His countenance said he was too ashamed to even look at God. That was him being honest with himself. Then he cried out for mercy in his position, knowing there was nothing within himself that could be done to save him from whatever punishment God would justly reap upon him.

Honestly and earnestly is our best hope for salvation. I believe the honestly part is more difficult than earnestly. I’ve lied to myself so often it is second nature. It isn’t my fault is my fallback position. I have even gone so far as to say, “It is not my fault, God made me this way.”

We are defensive by nature. It is a horrible world out there, who wants to give in to that? No one. This isn’t about giving into a violent and dangerous world. This is about submitting to a loving and merciful God. That is hard to do if all you can only see God’s actions toward sin is death and punishment. Sin yes, sinner no. God would destroy sin in us if it were possible without destroying our humanity.

Our humanity is what connects us to that lost and dying world. They can only connect with us on a human level because they have not received Christ and the Holy Spirit. God would not have us abandon the lost. We relate to them because we too have experienced exactly what they are going thru without God.

Our humanity is relatable to the lost. They might get a glimpse of our spiritual side, the abiding love of Christ, but they cannot relate to it.

Romans 8:19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.

Earnest expectations begin with honesty about the condition of self.