Psalm 38:5 My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness,

One of the side effects of anxiety is much like the stink here in Psalm 38:5, it is not that anxiety itself is a sin, but the effects of anxiety can be identified, like the stink of a self-inflicted wound.

I recognized one effect that told me that my anxiety needed to be addressed. It was selfishness.

Selfishness makes it difficult to hear the Lord clearly. Not impossible, just more difficult.

With me it manifested in a need to be right and to be understood. It wasn’t enough to be right, I sought affirmation. Doubt crept in when I didn’t get it. Doubt is a cancer to faith.

Thank God someone loved me enough to smell the stink and ask “What is that?”

We all need help and who better than someone who knows you best. Good accountability partners can tell when we are “not being ourselves”. They question, prod and pry until light shines upon the problem.

I have said it before and it bears repeating, we all need accountability partners. Not just someone to talk to but one who has gained your trust to the point you can share the worst parts of yourself without feeling judged. 

When I say my symptom was selfishness, I owned it and that is my confession. That does not mean that when others are struggling that selfishness is their symptom. Nor does it mean that selfishness means one has anxiety. Other wounds can produce other symptoms.

I would love to believe that I could work out all my problems on my own with the help of the Holy Spirit but when we are having trouble hearing, it is not His fault. That is a sign of something being wrong. That is why His Word says “be subject one to another”.

Who do you trust?

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

The man who said this knew He was about to go to the Cross and be crucified.

I would say He knew a little something about anxiety.

I believe in Him, I believe in His Word. I study His Word and take it to heart.

Recently I came across a very disturbing prophecy because it fits this present time and it is very possible to happen in my lifetime.

It is not my job to be an alarmist but it stirred me with a sense of urgency to deliver the gospel to help people and to speak earnestly to people I meet. What I want is to help people come to Christ without being that guy that is acting out of character. Anxiety is never seen by others as a stable person.

My accountability partner knows me best and has questioned my language of late. My anxiety is showing up in my writing. That is why I have deleted so many lately. That is frustrating, and another sign of anxiety.

My relationship with my wife is everything and she has noticed and wants to help and I want her to help but the only thing she can do is love me. Comfort has to come from love. Peace of mind must come from trust. I can see how important it is to love and be loved.

During these days the peace of God that surpasses understanding is my only hope against being anxious about that prophetic Word. I could be wrong so I do not post it. But I have shared it with my accountability partner who I know loves me and prays for me.

Today I pray for in-laws who traveled yesterday to Atlanta for a family memorial service for a mother that passed. We have not heard from them and as Helene moves towards them power outages are a very real possibility plus dangers of fallen trees and tornadoes. 

It is 3 a.m. right now and I am awake and watching the news. We pray.

The immediate is more important than the possibility of a future that may or may not see prophecy become real.

Pray for those who are facing the real dangers associated with this hurricane.