1 Samuel 21:13 And he changed his behaviour before them, and feigned himself mad in their hands, and scrabbled on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle fall down upon his beard.

Of all the examples of change, I chose this one to lead off with for today’s devotional. The reason is because it first points to the choice of change behavior. The fact that it was feigned behavior is not so important as the issue that he had reason to change. The reasoning is at the heart of this devotional.

As a teen I was angry all the time. I had reason to change but I could not help myself. I did not know the source of my anger, nor could I find a way to get a grip on it, as much as I was afraid of it and wanted to change. So I raised my hand at an alter call, and my anger left me. How I do not know. Why I do not know. All I knew was it was gone. Nothing else about me changed. No one around me saw the change within me. I was the only one who knew. My outward behavior changed but only as to the anger. I was still a troubled teen but now without anger. Had I changed? I had no control over that anger, I could not even fake change.

Decades later, many sins later, many pains later, my father died and I repented of my life and everything I had done in it. God spoke to me in that moment and said, “Let’s start over.” I went home, found a bible and began reading every night. That was unusual behavior for me. It was observable but not disturbing to those around me. I made a conscious decision to change my behavior as to reading the Word. That was the only conscious decision I made.

Months of reading went bye and I found myself wanting to help people. My desires changed, I did not make a conscious decision to be compassionate. It was a new heart condition for which I did not have to make a conscious decision.

Ephesians 3:7 Whereof I was made a minister, according to the gift of the grace of God given unto me by the effectual working of his power.

I didn’t fake it, I am a new creation.

I became a made man.