Romans 12:20 English Standard Version (ESV) To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

During the Roman occupation, Roman soldiers could and did order Jewish citizens to perform duties that were convenient to their own comfort. Rather than having to restart fires themselves, they would order citizens to bring hot coals to stoke a new fire to keep themselves warm. Paul’s words here bring back memories of a time of abuse.

Doing good as suggested is the Lord’s way of turning the tables on the abusers. In a similar manner the Lord’s instructions to “go the extra mile” was in reference to soldiers ordering citizens to carry their personal items for a mile beyond the city limits.

The burden of conscious is the work of the Holy Spirit. Holding resentments only justifies an abuser in their actions. Kindness breaks that cycle.

In a personal aspect of breaking the cycle of abuse, I am at this very moment in conversation with a cousin that I have not seen in decades. Our mothers were sisters and there was bad blood between the two of them. It is a long standing feud that we can only hear our own mother’s side. No kindness was ever shown. You could see it in their faces whenever they were in the same room.

Why should children be forced to carry a parent’s resentment? Seems silly but ask the Arabs and the Jews to just let it go. Someone needs to break that cycle. Jesus says it is up to us to show mercy and compassion to those who hold resentments against us.

Love is the only way anyone changes.